I’m not usually big on new years resolutions and that’s not going to change today. I’m a fan of goal setting and I do that throughout the year. I like to look at what’s working and what’s not and make adjustments as I go. And I know the next decade doesn’t technically start till 2021 (feel free to fact check me, I know you will) but I’m hoping 2020 bring some better times than 2010-2019 did.

Before I get into my goals I’m looking back on some major changes that happened over the last 10 years:

• Got my house repossessed
• Crippling back pain that lasted almost two years
• My stop mom was diagnosed with cancer – thankfully beat it but she’s still dealing with the fall out from that
• Erin was diagnosed with cancer – she also beat it and is doing well! Some side effects, but nothing major
• Had to downsize to a super small place to save money after drowning in medical debt for years
• Shortly after moving in we had to take my sisters kid in. He was 10 and he’s almost 17 now. Great kid but was totally unexpected
• Started our own business (Makers South)
• Erin’s grandmother got sick and Erin had to help take care of her. She ended up in a home for a few years and passed way
• Erin’s mother was diagnosed with cancer and erin had to take care of her. She passed away not long after Erin’s grandmother
• The company I worked for closed down and I was out of work for over a year. Built up more credit card debt.
• Had a heart attack at 46 to end 2019

And now, right at the end of the year when we are tight on time and money we are dealing with the flu. And the medical bills from my heart attack are starting to roll in. That’s just some of the major stuff. We’ve struggled a lot over the years. We’ve also tried to help people any time we were able because we wouldn’t have gotten through any of this without the kindness of others.

But 2020 is going to be about us. I’m focusing on myself first for a change which will be a big struggle for me. I like helping others. It makes me feel good. But we still need to deal with this credit card debt and now medical bills and we also have a kid who’s almost ready for college and we have plans we’d like to see happen as well. So I’m going to make a conscious effort to focus on me and our little family for the next few years.

I’m not big on resolutions but I do have goals for 2020. It’s better if you set concrete goals. Like, Lose weight, get healthy and make more money are all part of my goals but they are too vague and easy to get out of. So here are some of my concrete goals.

• Lose weight – get down to 175 and then reevaluate and decide if I want/need to go further. I’m about 2010 right now and the most I’ve ever weight is 240 during the darkest part of my life. I think I might want to go down to 160-165 but I’ll decide that once I get to my first goal, 175.
• Get in better shape – I want to be able to walk 3.5 miles per day in 1 hour. I want to lift weights for 30 minutes at least 3-4 times per week.
• Get in financial shape – Pay off our major credit card debts, reduce spending and cut as many bills as possible. I’ve done this a good bit over the last two years and we need to get really frugal for the next few years.
• Focus on my mental health – spend more time doing things I love, be more social and enjoy life more
• Make more money – I need to focus hard on sharpening my coding skills so I can continue to move up at work and be a valuable asset and make more money. I want to do a bit more side work until I get to where I need to be. And we will focus on Makers South to increase revenue and make more profit

And that’s the core things I want to focus on. I’m going to be saying no to people a lot more often, which I know will be difficult for me. But the next few years are about building the future for me, Erin and David and I can’t help everyone at the same time. That doesn’t mean I won’t help my family move some furniture now and then or give someone a ride. It just means I’m putting my well being first. I have to. If the last 10 or even 20 years has taught me anything it’s two things:

• Everyone is just making it up as they go. No one has it all figured out.
• No one will put you first, you have to do that yourself.

I’m looking forward to the next chapter of our lives and I’m looking forward to putting several rough years behind us. We’ll deal with whatever shit life throws at us like we’ve always done and hopefully we’ll get to continue to grow and improve our situation. Gonna do whatever it takes to get there. Most of all, I hope I get to spend many more years with my best friend Erin. I know I wouldn’t still be here if it wasn’t for her.

Hope you and your have a happy and save new year!