I had my most hated dream last night. It starts off pretty typical for me, something crazy happening. I’m at some house and I believe we were in another country. Erin was there and a couple other people I know (I can’t place them but knew I knew them). It turns out I was working for some covert government agency.
Someone in our group ended up getting arrested and it was my fault. I burned them on purpose as part of a plan of some sort, I think to throw suspicion off the rest of us. It’s at this point the dream changes. I’m trying to sleep but some cats are fighting so I go and sort that out and I go to tell Erin about it and this is where the dream turns to the one I hate.
I can tell something is bothering Erin and she doesn’t want to talk to me, which would be unusual to say the least. Once she does start talking the topic turns to us and she wants to see other people because she’s caught feelings for someone else. In real life, our relationship is solid like a rock (as far as I know – but I’d bet on it for sure). But we talk a bit and she explains and my heart just breaks into a million pieces.
I’ve had many variations of this dream over the years and I’m sure it has nothing to do with Erin and has something to do with some uncertainty in my life. I love almost all my dreams. This is the one I hate for obvious reasons. This would destroy me and even though the dream is about something else this one always leaves me with a horrible feeling that day. I always go back to sleep and try to wake up after another dream to shake that feeling. Fuck this dream.